Thursday, March 4, 2010

Humorous amusing analogies!!!

These analogies are the best ever,lets see if you can beat that ;)
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

 They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

 John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

 He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Grandpa had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

 He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

 It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

 He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

 Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

 She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

 It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

After sending in my entries for the Style Invitational, I feel relieved and apprehensive, like a little boy who has just wet his bed.

If you liked this you might enjoy more analogies in school humor


  1. Those were some analogies! Poor grandpa, and the soup, not to speak of laughing like a dog throwing up!! :D

    This is one great blog! Love it for the sheer joy of laughing aloud!

    Do read my L&M and brats series. I have posted one in Indivine today.

  2. very innovative n entertaining,made my day! i luv such stuff very rare to find.

  3. nice collection...did i say nice...i meant really laughing-out-loud funny a collection of election buttons for Sarah Palin for president..ouch that bombed.

    keep going...

  4. Entertainment is all what I could read into your post... very well written...

    Pixellicious Photos

  5. I love all your posts, your analogies are Blackadder level. Keep writing!

    Do check out my post here. I promise it’ll be funny :)

  6. A hillarioius post, very well scripted. Keep it up.

  7. oh loved this one 'The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. '. thanks for the laugh

  8. Good post
    I loved the Phil one the best.

  9. Very interesting stuff. Analogies that really penetrate.

  10. Hahaha. That was absolutely hilarious! Are these originals?

  11. waitaminute.... let me stop lol-ing just enough to type this comment... the fountain pen actually made me guffaw, as did the lame duck!! Awesome collection..... are these originals?

  12. amazingly funny, cant stop laughing

  13. entertaining and engaging one. loved reading it :)

  14. Very nicely done. You need to enter the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

    The 2012 winner, Cathy Bryant from Manchester, had this entry:
    #As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.

    1. Nicely done indeed.

      Thanks Suborto, for sharing the one by Cathy Bryant. What wit. L'dMAO.