Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Hey so you are pregnant!!

Hmmm,so finally you decided to have kids.I am sure you might have some real doubts regarding pregnancy so here are some pregnancy FAQ's


I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
 With any luck, right after he finishes college.

How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

What is the most common pregnancy craving?
For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
Childbirth.

The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.  Why?
 ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
So what’s your question?

What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a  model?
Nothing (if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him).



How long is the average woman in labor?
 Whatever she says divided by two.

My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?Y
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.



Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
 Yes, pregnancy.

Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
 It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.

11 comments:

  1. yup, there is no difference in a pregnant lady and a model........dude we don't like to crash on the couch on our own home.......

    :)

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  2. Whoever said motherhood is sheer bliss, is a big fat liar

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  3. A very humorous take on pregnancy..... if only those nine months were that easy :)

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  4. aww come on - imagine if your parents thought the same....chances are you would nt be here.:-) haha

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  5. Wonderful! A fine example of tongue in cheek humour!

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  6. When will my baby be able to play with my wife's puppy?

    When the puppy gets pregnant! :)

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  7. that was a super hilarious take on pregnancy :D .. Love it :D

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