Friday, May 21, 2010

Its a Guy thing.....

Why can't women tell jokes its because we marry them,here are a list of things that a man says and what it really means...

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"It's a guy thing."

Really means....
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late."
Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means....
"I was wondering if that girl over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means....
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
Really means....
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means....
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Angelina Jolie."

"That's women's work."
Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Will you marry me?"
Really means....
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means....
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means....
"I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house."
Really means....
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"I can't find it."
Really means....
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means....
"What did you catch me doing?"

"I heard you."
Really means....
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You look terrific."
Really means....
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I missed you."
Really means....
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"We share the housework."
Really means....
"I make the messes, you clean them up."

"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means....
"You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck."

9 comments:

  1. hahha..I have written about a similar thing about women
    At the cost of pimping my blog :P
    Do Women Nag?

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  2. lol.....
    "It would take too long to explain."
    Really means...
    "I have no idea how it works."
    can also mean - "I waste 2 hours explaining and you still won't get it."

    :-) cheers to women....

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  3. Awww, you mean all these years he lied to me about me looking terrific!

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  4. Isn't it would take too long to explain more like you Dumbass, what do you know about how I fucking make my salary? :)

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  5. I don't think they'll ever say "We share housework"!

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  6. Quite true, but I figure womena have a language of their own too, one where "ooooo" means cute puppy.

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  7. Really nice... no idea, batteries, honey take a break,I missed you were terrific :D

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  8. ROFL... loved the anniversary one :D

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