Friday, May 14, 2010

So what they say is true

 Dumb questions about Canada from tourists and witty replies ;)

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of ?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.


  1. hehe..omg do people really as such questions?
    I loved the one with the hippo racing :)

  2. you have no idea what humans are capable of :p

  3. Sorry to be a kill-joy but Vancouver is around 2600 miles away from Toronto not 4000. It is around 4200 KILOMETRES away though.
    still great post!

  4. Tu mast launda hai yaar!!! I've been struggling for the past few days with exams and stuff, and I've been coming here daily, only to return with a big smile on my face. You make my day(in a very non gay way)!!!

  5. i loved the gay nightclubs one the most:)

  6. @Nerd:no wonder you are called nerd.

    @stillbutmoving:Always a pleasure to make people smile

  7. Those funny conversations did elicit smile. Good ones..