Friday, May 14, 2010

So what they say is true

 Dumb questions about Canada from tourists and witty replies ;)

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of ?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.

8 comments:

  1. hehe..omg do people really as such questions?
    I loved the one with the hippo racing :)

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  2. you have no idea what humans are capable of :p

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  3. Sorry to be a kill-joy but Vancouver is around 2600 miles away from Toronto not 4000. It is around 4200 KILOMETRES away though.
    still great post!

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  4. Tu mast launda hai yaar!!! I've been struggling for the past few days with exams and stuff, and I've been coming here daily, only to return with a big smile on my face. You make my day(in a very non gay way)!!!

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  5. i loved the gay nightclubs one the most:)

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  6. @Nerd:no wonder you are called nerd.

    @stillbutmoving:Always a pleasure to make people smile

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  7. Those funny conversations did elicit smile. Good ones..

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