Monday, May 24, 2010

Things You Don't Want To Hear During your Surgery

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?Well I do not know if you have ever been on the operating table but trust me if you ever do pray to the sweet lord you do not ever hear this.......

“Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, what's that?”

“Someone call the sweeper and tell him to bring a mop.”

“Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?”

“Oops, there go the lights again...”

“Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.”

“Stand back! I lost a contact.”

“Could you stop that thing from beeping? It's throwing off my concentration!”

“What's this doing here?”

“That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!”

“I should have brought my glasses.”

“Anyone see where I left that scalpel?”

“Okay, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.”

“Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?”

“Don't worry. I think it's sharp enough.”

 “Gosh! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”

 “What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?!”

 “What do you mean you want a divorce?!”

“Let me ask your opinion, nurse...”

 “What do you mean, it's upside down?”

“Oh, man! I think I'm gonna be sick.”

 “You think we can sew it back on?”

 “Is that supposed to be yellow?”

 “Not bad for someone who failed med school.”

 “Whoa. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so drunk last night.”

 “He looks like my ex-wife's attorney. The one who got her the house, the car, the money... he even got her!”

“Don't worry, he'll never know. He's out!”

 “Tilt that TV this way. I can't see the game.”

“Oh, yeah? If you think you're so good, you do it!”

8 comments:

  1. This is a rip off from my favourite Med soap Grey's Anatomy - What do you mean your sutures aren't turning out right? You can'trun now to the drycleaners to get your favourite scrub cap!!!!!!

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  2. Each and everyone is top class

    My fav: “Could you stop that thing from beeping? It's throwing off my concentration!”

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  3. hehhe...all the lines are hilarious...

    I personally hate it when I go the doctor and tell him of a back pain and he keeps prodding my back and pressing and keeps saying 'Does it pain here?' till the time I give a loud shriek and tell him that it pains like hell...

    Bollywood Magic

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  4. For most Doctors we are but a cash cow that needs to be milked.

    A Chuckleworthy post, loved it

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  5. lol lol :D :D!!
    enjoyed it!!

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