Saturday, June 12, 2010

For the guy making out with my wife........

What would you do if you found out about the guy who was making out with your wife behind your back , well whatever your reaction is trust me you will find this note amusing which was left by the husband to the guy who was doing his wife….

1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed .

2. You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (god knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.


3. If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4. Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?

5. After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty (thanks).

6. Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not retarded.

7. Please stop turning the heat up, you pay nothing and you are screwing me, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8. When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentine’s Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal. I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.
P.S. I am going to take the kids to the camping for two days, this Tuesday; I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.


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39 comments:

  1. Hahahhahahaah!!! Awesome post dude!
    The 6th one pwned!!

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  2. Mindblowing Man..You had me in Splits..In the last paragraph i kinda felt bad for the guy..amazing Writing..I retweeted this post..Way to Go !!

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  3. LOL... have not read anything so funny in weeks!!
    I loved each one.. so profound :P

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  4. Meandered in through Indiblogger...Glad to have visited ...what a HILARIOUS post!! :)

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  5. hehhe..hilarious..loved the cookies one...
    I am sure no man is going to be so understanding and funny :P

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  6. OMG!!!!! Too funny... Couldnt help but recommend to my friends.... Keep it going

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  7. that was just fucking awesome....

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  8. What? nothing about dividing the chore of who takes the trash out???

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  9. woohoo!! awesomely hilarious!!

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  10. Am dead sure the guy must be doing around elsewhere to make a funny situation out of this :P

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  11. Yeah, sure the 'patini aur woh' would have been enjoying the vodka on the fridge and sending you[whoever wrote the note;)]wishes for long happy married life :)!


    A good post with a tinge of sadness and mockery at the situation! :)

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  12. Horridly funny!!

    Hope I wouldnt have to write these notes!!

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  13. Even when i found the funny side of this.I saw the hearts of many guys who goes through this scenario in real.It hurts for real.

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  14. Frustation leads to a sort of understanding

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  15. Awesome! Absolutely. Point 6 was the Best!
    Loved it

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  16. Awesome keep up the good word
    http://shakeelsiddiquicomedycircus.com

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  17. Visited ur blog for the first time today thru indiblogger.. absolutely loved it..

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  18. 5th one takes the cake for me ;);) Really good!!
    Do read Rakhi Sawant's interview on her views about the anti-rape female condoms:
    http://hellisnext.blogspot.com/search/label/Rakhi%20Sawant

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  19. omfg that was some nasty shit man

    i can see some true love :P :P

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  20. Good one ! just wandered in from Indiblogger

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  21. excellent :-) you do have a wonderful sense of subtle knockout humour :-)

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