Friday, October 8, 2010

I could never figure her out!!!!

Well they just do not call them the sophisticated sex for no reason!!!!So here is a guide for the simpler sex as to what their "not so better half" actually say and what they actually mean!!!
You want
= You want
We need
= I want
It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk
= I need to complain
Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.
I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
= I'm on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.
I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]
= No
= No
= No
I'm sorry.
= You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we're going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? Anything you would like to add to the guide ;) 


  1. LOL!! That's a perfect compilation. I think every man who is about to enter into a relationship should be gifted a guide on these lines ;-)

    But why is it 'not so better' halves! It is certainly 'better half', and that's the first rule in the book!!

    Btw, IF you like my post - 'Past Promises, Forgotten futures' - please do vote on Indiblogger, here:


  2. I have to reluctantly agree that 90% of the above is true and yours truly being part of that 'better half' can vouch for it!

  3. I have to agree with all of the translations except the one about shoes. Or, maybe, I'm the only girl who owns less than 5 pairs. :)