Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Did i go to college??


Don't you at times wish that your spouse be more compatible and understanding; well we have a antidote to your problems, presented here is a list of seminars where you can send you husband or wife to!!

 

SEMINARS FOR MALES

You, too, can do housework

PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut.

How to fill an ice tray

We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money

Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am

Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")

Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception

Spelling -- Even you can get it right
You -- The Weaker Sex
Reasons to give flowers

How to stay awake after sex

Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom

Garbage -- Getting it to the curb

You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try

How to put the toilet lid down

"The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms

Give me a break! Why we know your excuses are bullshit

The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
Romanticism - Ideas other than sex

Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too
Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home

Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked!")
Changing your underwear -- It really works

The Attainable Goal -- Omitting "TITS" from your vocabulary

Techniques for calling home

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN

"Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"

Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")

Elementary Map Reading

Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
You can go shopping for less then 4 hours

Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast

The Seven-Outfit Week

PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It)

Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission

Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights

Driving III: Approximating a constant speed

Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water

The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament

Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")

Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup

Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry

We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP

Yes, You Can Buy Condoms

Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels

What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy

"To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do"
Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House

Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child

Healing his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?

4 comments:

  1. Well!! all of theses are impractical in practical life. So never try them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. very interesting, it was good to read a few some new additions in there.. "you can fall asleep without IT .. " ahem!!

    But as a guy have to admit, you need to work on your seminars for women.. we would like to add to the list for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So which seminar did you take? :D

    Hey WJ, posting comments is a very lenghty process on your blog? Can you simplify it? For instance the word verification needs to be done TWICE! You could give a Name/URL option, for instance instead of posting through google account.

    ReplyDelete