Sunday, January 9, 2011

Saying you suck with class!!!!1

From the archives

There used to be a time when even insults appeared to be poetic.The battle of wits among the most gifted individuals was a treat; included in this posts are the pearls of witty putdowns and in some case wittier comebacks. 


Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time. -- Frederic Raphael

 She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did. -- Ada Leverson

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it. -- Dorothy Parker

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.  George Bernard Shaw

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
–William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) 

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
—Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

He is so boring you fall asleep halfway through her name. -- Alan Bennett

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation. -- Jean Webster

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. -- Mark Twain

 “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.”
–George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

  “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.”
–Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw


He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own. -- Margaret Halsey

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
–Irvin S. Cobb

Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. -- Al Capp

“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party
“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
–Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."  —Robert Redford

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
—Forrest Tucker

"You, Mr. Wilkes, will die either of the pox or on the gallows."
–The Earl of Sandwich  

"That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."
–John Wilkes's response to The Earl of Sandwich

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
—Winston Churchill 

Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald (about Ernest Hemingway)

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
—Moses Hadas

He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front. -- Leonard Louis Levinson

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
—James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere. -- Mark Twain

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any one I know."
—Abraham Lincoln

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest. -- Steven Pearl

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. -- Mark Twain

 “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
–Paul Keating

That's not writing, that's typing. -- Truman Capote
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. -- Groucho Marx

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts — for support rather than illumination."                                          —Andrew Lang


  1. Wonderful repartees. Wit is always a pleasure to read, isn't it?

  2. Great Compilation. A collection of World's Greatest insults. But did you notice how G.B Shaw and W. Churchill's insults were more fascinating than the rest just because they both knew how to talk.....
    Anyone can do the talking, but a worthy opponent is in this case necessary.

    P.S Do visit